I’m warning you now.  This will be a huge vent.  If you don’t care to see a stressed out, tired, cranky mother of three throw a temper tantrum then I highly suggest you move along to another blog.

If you’re still with me, what can I say?  You’ve been warned.

Yesterday morning actually started out great.  I got more sleep than I’ve managed to get in the last week, and I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to go.  It doesn’t hurt that I’m only a few days removed from a fabulous, 9 day Spring Break vacation.  That being said…I was actually early going into work today.  And now that I think about it, that’s probably where my day went wrong.

Do you ever go somewhere, get out of your car and realize you don’t really remember the drive over?  I’m pretty sure that’s what I was doing this morning as I turned down the road next to the school.  Of course I know this is a school zone.  Of course I know the speed limit is 20.  Of course I know there are always cops waiting to bust people there.

You see where I’m going with this.

I got a ticket for speeding, and as if that weren’t enough, my driver’s license was expired.  So, yeah, I got a ticket for that one too.  Nevermind that I didn’t have a current insurance card in my car.  Thank goodness the police lady let me off with a warning for that.  Now I’m due to appear in court within the next ten days.  Not what I had in mind for Spring Break. Oh, did I mention all of the students who passed by while I was being ticketed?  Always fun to hear them honk at you and then tease you the rest of the day about it.

I’d like to say things got better from there, but if that were the case, I don’t think I’d be writing this post to begin with. 

Next up on the “let’s make Kristin’s day terrible campaign” would be the day’s shoe choice.  I was seriously in desperate need of bandaids exactly 15 minutes after arriving at work.  Ouch.

Now, I’m in the middle of organizing a Tobacco Free Outreach program for our school district, and with this week’s open houses amongst the district, I’m in charge of getting some booths together for each of the schools.  It’s not that this is a difficult task…it’s making sure I have enough students to be at five elementaries in one night with all needed supplies and transportation to and from the events.  In the middle of a meeting I was having with said students, I look down at my hands to discover my blue ink pen has blown up all over them.  I was able to get most of it off, but I’m still left with what almost look like Avatar hands.  Ew.

Did I mention that all of this Tobacco Free stuff involves a black pig lung that hangs out in my classroom?  Double ew.

To top everything off, we had our open house last night.  It’s not that I mind open house, it just means that I put in a 12 hour day at work.  To say I’m exhausted and want to hurt someone, is such an understatement.

As much as I don’t want to jinx myself, today has to be better.  Please God.  Let today be better.

Define faith.  That’s the phrase I found when googling an interesting blog topic to write about.  Yes, I know, blog topic generators might seem like a copout, but I figure writing about something that was randomly suggested by a website is better than writing nothing at all. 

Now, back to the phrase at hand.

Define faith. 

Wow. 

Why couldn’t I have gotten the one that said “Name five things in your refrigerator.” 

Oh well.  Here goes.

Faith, to little old unimportant me, is the belief in something you know to be bigger than yourself, and your ability to surrender to that something regardless of what may appear to stand in the way.  It’s being strong enough, no matter the odds, to stay true to that one thing that reaches out to you….that one thing you want and need in a way you will never be able to understand nor explain to someone else.  It is as much about your journey as it is about the thing you are fighting for…it is patience and hope and being able to find that peace within yourself that says “Hold tight….all will work out fine.”

And once you find your own definition of faith, and you’ve got a clear picture of that something you want so very badly….it’s being brave enough to take that leap.

Cheers to all of us brave enough to jump without a net below. 

And Happy Monday.

Here I am again at the beginning of another Sunday morning…..here come the confessions….

This week I confess that I have a newfound appreciation for insomniacs and their ability to function in everyday society despite their lack of sleep.  5 or 6 days of temporary insomnia is nothing, I’m sure, compared to something that happens every single night.  Ugh.  So to all you insomniacs out there….here’s a pat on the back and an Ambien just for you.  Go take a nap. 

I confess that I’ve never been so ready for a Spring Break in my entire life.  Please don’t ask me to explain why.  I just need a break from the everyday craziness that is my life.  A chance to clean out my closets, dust away the cobwebs (both literally and figuratively), and get my feet underneath me again as we head into the home stretch of the school year.  And let me just say…I could never never never work at a job that didn’t divide my life into semesters and offer me a Spring Break.  I’m spoiled. 

I confess that it’s getting harder and harder to give Coach B my typical pep talks after his team struggles and loses a game.  It’s probably because we’ve lost five in a row, and well, that’s just never happened before.  It’s a crazy thing, high school baseball.  When you’re up, you’re up, but man, when you’re down like we are now…it’s really hard to pick it all back up again.  But I have faith my boys will pull through and come out better on the other side.  I wish them luck as they head into an out of town tournament this upcoming weekend.

I confess that the previously mentioned tournament is making it possible for me and my children to spend the weekend at one of my best friend in the whole wide world’s house.  I. Am. Giddy.  She’s a fellow coach’s wife, and when our husbands were both at the same school, she was my partner in crime.  We sat together at every football game and got into the kind of shenanigans you should really only get into when you’re five.  Except we were in our thirties.  Ahem.  Can’t wait to see you D!  Remember!  You are the salt to my cantaloupe!

And finally, I confess that this week was an emotional roller coaster, and I was riding in the front car.  Now normally, I’m all over roller coasters.  But between the losses in baseball, my insomnia issues, deadlines and work commitments, and general worries about life, I’ve been tossed around way more than anyone should in a week.  I think this week I’ll stick to the park bench and watch all the other people hop on the ride. 

Have a great week everyone!!

No brilliant words of widsom on this fabulous Friday morning except this quote I stumbled upon while searching the web.

I think Ingrid Bergman said it best…

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words are no longer necessary.”

My take on it? 

Talk less.  Kiss more. 

Have an amazing Friday!

Bring me a dream…make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen.  Ahem.  Let me restart.

Dear Mr. Sandman,

   After five nights of sleep deprivation, I am at my breaking point.  I appreciate that for some twisted reason you think it’s funny to keep me awake even after my 7 month old baby has decided he doesn’t need the middle of the night bottle anymore.  I’m a funny person….I get it.  Irony.  Easy enough.  But I can’t take it anymore.  I really must sleep.  So, I’m asking you…with all the goodness I have in my heart, please please please sprinkle some extra sleepy dust on me tonight so that my thoughts will calm, my emotions remain steady, and I can sleep peacefully knowing that regardless of how I tend to overthink things…..the sun will, in fact, rise tomorrow morning.  Kthanks.

Me

Edited at 12:00am to add:  FYI-  apparently Mr. Sandman didn’t get my memo.  Oh well.  Off to do some damage on iTunes.

I’ve had the idea to do a Thursdays were made for Thinking post for a while but haven’t gotten around to it.  So, to make you think today I’ve included my most favorite poem in the world.  Yes, my absolute favorite.  It makes me smile…..and more importantly it reminds me of all the people in my life I have loved and how each of them are a part of who I am today.  I hope you like it as much as I do….

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e e cummings

Here’s a little meme about, well,….ME ME!!  

35 random things.  Enjoy!

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

Yes….but let’s define serious.  We are not serious.  We laugh.  A. LOT.

02) What was your dream growing up?

I wanted to be a Marine Biologist and work with dolphins at Sea World. 

03) What talent do you wish you had?

I wish I felt more comfortable singing in front of others.

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic.  Easy ice.  Extra cherries. 

05) Favorite vegetable?

Really?  Favorite vegetable?  No.

06) What was the last book you read?

I’m currently reading “The Lovely Bones.”

07) What zodiac sign are you?

Aquarius

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

Okay.  So, none actually there NOW.  But, I used to have a tattoo on my hip, and yes, I had a belly ring.  Many years and three babies ago.

09) Worst Habit?

Procrastination.  I am a free spirit by nature.  A “let’s have fun now and worry about the rest later” kinda gal in most situations.  I am trying to grow up, however.

10) If you saw someone walking down the street would you offer them a ride?

Negative.

11) What is your favorite sport?

Baseball!!

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”  Charles Swindoll

I try to be optimistic.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?

Hyperventilate.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

When I lost a baby last year.  I was in a very dark place.  And then came my rainbow baby…Beaux.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

I have an extra foot of large intestine.  I was informed of this after I had to have my appendix removed when I was 20.

16) Do you have any pets?

2 cats.  Pico and Molly.

17) What do you think when people show up at your house unexpectedly?

Holy crap my house is a mess.  Please don’t call CPS.

18) What do you notice first about people?

Eyes and smiles.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

I’ve seen and read It.  Ridiculously scary.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

Nothing.  I am what I am.

21) Would you be a crime partner or my conscience?

Partner in crime.

22) What color eyes do you have?

Green.

23) Ever been arrested?

Nope

24) Bottle or can soda?

Whatever is available.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

Buy a bigger car!!!

27) What’s your favorite place to hang out?

In my pajamas, in my recliner.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

Not sure.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Read and write.

30) Do you swear a lot?

I’m trying to be better. 

31) Biggest pet peeve?

When people don’t follow through on what they say they will do.  And I don’t give second chances.  I hold grudges.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Witty

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

I am a true romantic at heart. 

34) Favorite and least favorite food?

Favorite:  sushi  Least favorite:  Nothing I really hate.

35) Do you believe in God?

Absolutely!

Well, there you have it.  35 random things about me! 

Have a great evening!!

So, in order to jumpstart my overtired, fried, swiss-cheese brain into writing something clever and brilliant, I resorted to a blog prompt generator.  I had committed ahead of time to writing about the first prompt that came up, and as you can see by the title of my post, it starts a little something like this…..

Today started out like any other day until….

I rolled over and realized that my normally consistent sleep pattern had been interrupted by my brain moving at speeds no less than 150 miles an hour in the middle of the night.  Two hours, lots of tossing and turning, and some plowing of crops on Farmville, I finally managed to eek out a little bit of sleep before my alarm went off.

Then another amazing thing happened.  Instead of being late, as usual, I actually had enough time to make a much-needed Starbucks run.  One Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte later, I had made it to midday.

From there it went downhill.  Ever have a complete and total out of body experience?  Yeah, that was me.  Like you know where you are and you know what you’re doing, but it doesn’t really register with you until much later.  Halfway through 7th period a kid says….”Mrs. B.  You’re sitting there with your mouth wide open.”  That’s a first for me.  I apologized, explained my insomniac issues and pushed forward.

So, here I sit….trying to complete a coherent thought.  And really.  It’s not working.

And now the baby is crying…..

Hopefully tomorrow will be much more….normal.

Until then,

Often times the only contact teachers have with parents are those that are negative.  Maybe the student is failing, has missed a lot of school, or even has behavior issues.  I know that I always dread making that call or sending that email because you never know what kind of response you will get.  I will say that most of my parents have been supportive, but there has been a situation or two where I was subjected to verbal abuse no one should ever have to experience.  It’s all a part of teaching, and as I’m now in my 9th year doing it, I’ve come to accept it for what it is.  

I will say that for every negative phone call or email I’ve had to make I always make it a point to mention at least one positive thing about that particular student.  I truly see the value in every child (yes, even my challenging ones), and I think focusing on that helps when working with parents.

The thing I don’t like is that, as teachers, we don’t hear a lot of positivity about ourselves.  I’ve heard all of the stereotypical sayings about how we aren’t really “professional,” how we have ALL summer and holidays off, and then there’s the old adage…

“Those who can’t do… teach.”  Grrrrrr.

But today was different. 

I opened my email to find a message that had one of my student’s name as the subject line.  I instantly felt a feeling of dread as I went to open it, just knowing it was about the four project assignments I had entered into my online gradebook but hadn’t had a chance to enter grades for yet.  But as I saw the letter open before me, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.  And by the time I finished, I had a tear in my eye. 

So today friends, I want to share it with you.  Because, well, as a teacher I always say if I make a difference in one kids life it will have all been worth it.  And I have it right in front of me….how amazing is that? 

Dear Mrs. B,

 As a teacher I realize that many of our parental encounters and contacts happen when there is a problem, so I wanted this one to be different.  I am S. G., B’s mom.  I just wanted to let you know what an incredible impact you have made on her life.  She comes home just about daily going on and on about something you said or did in your class.  She tells me how much I would like you, and that she adores you.  I appreciate that she has found someone she can really look up to that is a positive influence.    It was important to me to tell you thank you for all that you have done.  I hope sometime I get the chance to meet the you.  Anyone that is so amazing to B must be incredible, she is not easy to impress.    There is a lot about her that many people would never know, she is far more complex than she appears.

 Thank you

S.  G.

So, here’s an updated adage….

“Those who don’t teach…..sometimes just don’t get it.”